Who Knew....

Ten years ago today, Joel and I made a vow to each other to enjoy each minute, share lots of laughter, be true to each other, stand by each other, and commit ourselves to one another from that day forward.

It was a cool, breezy September day.  I was up and starting to get ready by 8 am.  I had a bridal brunch, a hair appointment, pictures to be ready for...a gown to put on.  There was excitement all around.  I was not nervous.  I knew in my heart that sharing the rest of my life with Joel was the path I was suppose to take.  As the ceremony began, my dad and I started a long walk to the outdoor event.  I remember seeing all our friends and family gathered under the tent and Joel waiting for me at the front.  The ceremony was exactly what we pictured and wanted, with lavender flowers and sunny skies above us.  Despite a bee flying in the wine we shared a blessing over, the ceremony was flawless.  Our dedication for each other was declared in front of everyone and God.  I remember Joel taking my hand and leading me out of the tent to start our lives as Mr and Mrs Joel Sandock.  Who knew...

September 29, 2001

 

We bought a house that same year, moved in and enjoyed our time just the 2 of us.  Trips to Savannah, to Boone, to Charleston...we did what we wanted, when we wanted.  We grew together and made a decision to start thinking about having a baby.  Two years into marriage, I got pregnant.  Just like that.  Pregnant.  We were excited.  Didn't tell anyone.  And then, I lost the baby.  What a blur of events.  What a loss.  How do you cope?  What do you do?  I turned to Joel.  We cried together.  We held each other.  We got stronger.

Leah 2004

A few months later, we tried again.  And I got pregnant.  I was worried every day and I took it easy.  Once we got to the 2nd trimester, I was able to breathe a little and Joel and I enjoyed reading about the growth of the baby.  We started making decisions, like do we find out the sex?  What room will be the nursery?  What about names?  We welcomed Leah into the world, with 26 hours of labor and an emergency c-section, and the 2 of us became 3.  She was healthy and beautiful.  Who knew....

After trying to balance working and being a new mom, Joel and I made a decision.  We felt the right thing for us was for me to stay home with Leah.  I just didn't want to miss a minute.  It was worth a financial struggle to have her in my arms everyday.  Joel had his own business and we had faith in each other that we could make it work.  And we did.  Business was great.  We moved into a larger house.  And, we got pregnant. Seth was strong from the minute he existed.  He was born Mother's Day weekend and what a true gift he was to Joel, Leah and myself.  The 3 of us became 4.  Who knew...



Seth 2007

 

Leah 2007





At this point we had been married 6 years.  We had 2 strong, healthy, happy, thriving kids.  I stayed home.  Joel ran the business.  Sure, there are tough times...there are always hiccups, but Joel and I grew together, laughing, smiling and loving every day together.  Our trips on the weekends turned into soccer games for Leah or running errands and fall festivals with the kids.  Of course there are times when we say, "remember how on a Sunday we used to do NOTHING?  Wouldn't that be fantastic?"  And then someone yells - "Mommy!  I have to go potty!" and reality kicks in and you smile.  Even with the love we had for these two blessings, Joel and I felt like we were not complete as a family.  Who knew....

April 2010

We tried to get pregnant for 4 months.  I didn't understand.  I always just got pregnant.  What was wrong?  I guess some things are meant to be.  When I realized I was pregnant, it was a busy month.  Seth's birthday, a yard sale, end of school parties...I didn't slow down.  Why should I?  Joel and I were excited, it was the 3rd baby we dreamed about.  Who knew...there would be 3.  That's when I started this blog.  When the 4 of us became 7.  Who knew...

Our marriage is solid.  Our love is strong.  We have awesome communication and a great understanding of each other.  We don't hold grudges.  We don't go to bed mad at each other.  We always say goodbye with a kiss. We are not perfect and we accept that.  We compromise.  We listen to each other.  We make time for each other.  We allow the other to be what they need to be.  We are patient with each other.  All the things couples that have been married 50+ years have said they key to a successful marriage really are true and do work.  We can learn from their experiences and are grateful for their example of marriage.  I hope that my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, can learn from the love that Joel and I share. 

Ten years ago, if you had said to me, "In this 10 years, you will cry together, grow together, have a great loss,  and have 5 kids..." I would have laughed.  Ok, so we will cry some, lose some battles, grow together, but 5 kids?  Never.  I sit here today, smiling and feeling complete.  Yes, we have 5 kids in that 10 years and I would not trade a minute of it.  Is it tough?  Yes.  Is it a challenge?  Yes.  Is it expensive?  Yes.  Is it stressful?  Yes.  Is it everything I could have ever wanted and more?  Yes.  Are we still happy and still in love?  Yes.

Who knew 10 years ago that this would be our story?  I wonder what I will be writing in another 10 years?  The one thing I know I will still be saying...I love my husband and the only thing better than 10 years of marriage is 20.

The Party of Seven, July 2011